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Relationships

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Relationships are a wonderful thing please don’t get me wrong. But there are a couple of things that need to be said.  I’m not in the business of lying. I don’t understand why an individual will approach a “single” person like their single. Then with all the hurt you have endured, you let your guards down and talk to the person only to find out the person isn’t who you think they are. Your phone is ringing and there is a female on the other line asking who the hell you are to her man. Wait a minute, rule of thumb,  NEVER NEVER attack the chick because 9 times out of 10 he didn’t tell her shit about you. So instead of stepping out of your character confront your man.

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Thoughts (poem entry).

   As I sit here with pen and pad. I collect my thoughts of me and my ongoing fight with myself to better help you understand me. While through my eyes and crooked smile there is pain and a constant overlay of lonelyness. Vivid dream of a perfect family and wonderful life are snatched away like a thief in the night and Im slapped back into reallity to a one- sided life. One side of me is shown to the world and the other side is dark and blurry and kind of adstract and disstorted. Afar away cry from a “Diamond princess” or a Beverly Hills debutant. My world of make-believe is a shadow of someone else’s glamor. These are thoughts from a lumb of coal waiting for her day to be turned into a Diamond someday………………….. (2007)

Loves Game(poem).

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I’d like to report a robbery,what was stolen: My heart, my soul,the inner deepest most precious part of me. He stole feelings that he misused for his own selfish games. He lied when he said that he would always love me,that I gave him the most special thing in the world. He stole my confidence,my joy, and the thing that made me who I was.(ma’am we picked someone up around the way that fits the description,would I mind coming down to pick him out of a lineup.) Look me in my face and see the pain that you caused within. WHY? Please tell me why. What did I do for you to break me. What does she possess that was not found within me. Did I not love u the way you needed, I put you up so high on a pedestal u were scared you’d fall. Held u close so there was no need to worry, your life support.(officer take him away….your honor,we find the defendant GUILTY of all charges,I SENTENCES YOU TO LIFE.)

Baby Mamas

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 As I sit here with my headphones in and my music playing gathering my thoughts this topic just keeps surfing up so this is my topic today.

   I have to say that I am a single mother of two boys, and with both of my son’s fathers they have over the years really truly believed whole heartedly that just because we have a child that is their ticket to my vigina.  Um NO SIR!!!!! You had a choice to be here permanently but when things got tough they chose to move on to the next. Now the world that they thought was going to be great turned out to be a disaster. The mother of your child or children aren’t revolving doors.They were good enough to meet, and date or have  some kind of relationship with you could have still been in the picture. But you made the choice otherwise. Respect the fact that all we are will be the mother’s of your children. We weren’t made first so why should we open our legs to you only to end up in the same spiralling perdicament. Ladies set ground rules and keep the lids on your cookie jars because if you weren’t good enough after the children, you will still won’t be after he pulls out, gets up, freshens up gets dressed and go home to HER. Stop the vicious cycle and let go..

Reality

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My world looks crazy hazy abstract tapestries and manikins consume my atmosphere. Running into dead end after dead end of past memories can’t seeming to find a way out, the pain in my stomach starting to rise up and bubble over like minute rice. I can hear the laughter and conversations of accomplishments everywhere around me. I NEED A WAY OUT, THERE HAS TO BE A WAY OUT. Trying to break through and take my place in this fast pace world is becoming unrealistic but determined I press through with all of the strength single black women before me. Unashamed my scars lay bare for the world to see and judge, they say time heals all wounds, I NEED A WAY OUT, I KNOW THERES A WAY OUT………….(2013)

Tha Truth

I gave u everything, I gave u all of me, the good the bad even my hidden secrecies, in exchange for your lies,accusations of me cheating, when u were the only one gettin these Vicki’s. Love everlasting was meaningless coming from u, u talked slick ,to get ur fix all while just playing a game. But to my surprise, ur not a grown ass man,but a LITTLE boy hiding behind excuses and images of ur past. I’m not that bitch or the other hoe it not fair to make me pay for their mistakes tho. I ment every word I said, my confessions of my heart wasn’t just a behavior in bed. I thought u could see the sincerity in me the pureness in my tone. No love lost cause non was found, and when u sit back and contemplate on all ur mistakes concerning us, and u reach for that phone, put it back down, cause u weren’t man enough to break up so dnt b now to explain. I’m done, We’re through!!!!!!

The Unknown

Have you ever met a person and everything seemed fine at first, then as that person gets comfortable with you which is probably 4 to 6 months into the “status” change they do a 360. Now this is not the person you have came to know and love or care for. Everything they do annoys you, down to you noticing the smallest things like how they sleep, eat and what not. Lol I know this is crazy or your like OMG yes hell yes!!! No matter how you feel and yes you have a right to feel some way but don’t let it keep you in your feelings too long. Start to evaluate your situation and who are all of the parties involved like children. Whatever you choose make sure the situation stays healthy.